Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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What's sad about 2 black men driving off a cliff? They were my friends.....

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(approach girl) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to fit into the same dress as you

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what do you call a rat with wings? an evolutionary masterpiece

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Too bad, because UNTIL YOUR FUCKING "POWER OF HUMAN KIND" CAN SUMMON UP A FUCKING EYEBALL! NOTHING WILL MAKE UP FOR THIS SHIT! "Oh, my the good old phonebook, I will... Now... try... to... seduce... you... with... my... "goodness" As far as "oh I know where you live", well nobody here is hiding fagface! So you come out of your "darkness or shadows or whatever" and let me stab out both your fucking eyes! And we are STILL NOT GOOD! And yeah, have your faggots stop calling themselves Nero.

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Why did the mother cross the road? To find her dead baby that was hit the night before.

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Oh," the boy says. "Well BUENOS DIAS to you too!!!

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A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

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No.

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Q: If Elvis was alive today, what would he crave the most? A: Brains. Moral: BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

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There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

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1: What is a gum wrapper with no gum? 2: A wrapper? 1: No.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away." -Louis

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

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How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

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Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

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Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she fell out the window and landed in soot.

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If you give a homeless man a fish he eats for the night, if you teach him to fish then he probably won't be able to feed himself anyway, he is too poor to afford a pole.

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How do u kill a mocking bird ? Stab it

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why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

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So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

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Your mama's so fat that she killed herself because she was so depressed about her weight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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