If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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tight butthole 4 lyfe.

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Wanna hear a joke? A Republican political activist.

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Why couldn't little Johnny play sports like the rest of the kids? He was diagnosed with polio at the age of 3 and has limited use of his legs.

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Chinese drivers.

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i like pie.

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What do you do if your computer breaks: Go on your phone. What do you do if your phone breaks: Go on you iPod What do you do if your iPod breaks: Then your screwed and you should get a Job and learn not to break things.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jonny Jonny who? Jonny tsunami, hope you can swim Japan

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Hello

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I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

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vaginas

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daises are red, holy crap my garden is on fire.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

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What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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What did one child say to the other child? We both are kids.

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I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

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Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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