You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

your mother is so fat that she eats a lot of high fat foods.

What do Gay horses eat? Cheese.

why did the plane crash the pilot was Suicidal

Jesus walks int a hotel and places a handful of nails on the counter in front of the innkeeper. He is immediately turned away as the innkeeper understandably does not accept nails as currency.

If you peel my skin off, I won't cry, but you will. What am I? A human being with a high pain threshold.

25

What was the comment at the bottom of this anti joke? come up with a better anti joke

What did the Chinaman say to the other Chinaman? I dont know, he was speaking in Chinese.

why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

Whats worse than missing the bus? Having the short bus picking u up

When Josh moran was born he was thrown up in the air three times and was caught twice.

A man is driving down a back country road in an old beat up car going 30 mph when he notices a black horse and a white horse keeping pace with him. They keep up with him for a few miles before passing him and turning into a farm on the road. The man is quite impressed with the horses speed and follows them to the farmer and offers the farmer living there the horses in exchange for the car. The farmer says the horses are bad luck but accepts the trade, and the man walks off with the horses. The man then enters the horses in a big horse race and puts a lot of money on them. The horses immediately take the lead and are about to finish the race when the black horse trips and the white horse goes back to pick him up and end up losing. The man is furious and returns the horses to the farmer and gets his car back. The next day another man is driving in a nicer car down the same road going 50 mph when the black horse and the white horse run right past his car. Impressed with the horses speed the man trades his car to the farmer who warns him about the horses. Ignoring the farmer's warning the man enters the horses in a new race. The horses once again take the lead and are close to finishing first and second when the black horse trips and the white horse goes and picks him up again once again losing their lead. The man angrily returns the horses in exchange for his car. The next day a third man drives down the same road in a brand new sports car. While he's testing the limits of the car the horses catch up to him and run with him. Surprised by the speed of the horses the man speeds up in his car but the horses manage to keep up. The horses eventually run past the man and turn into their farm, and the man looks down and realizes that the horses had been running faster than 120 mph. The man goes to the farmer and offers his car in exchange for the horses. The farmer accepts but gives the man the same warning he gave the two men earlier. The new man just like the other two men ignores the warning and enters the horses into a race and bets a lot of money on them. This time the horse take the lead out of the gate but feet from the finish line the white horse trips and falls. The black horse seeing this goes back and helps him up once again losing the race. The man is disgusted and releases the horses into the city in hopes that they'll die out there. The two horses are wander into a bar, and the bartender looks at them and says: "hey you two why the long face?"

A hitman and his target walked in the same bar togather what happend? nothing because a hitman has better things to do and the target would lay low.

What's clear on the outside and grey on the inside? An elephant in a plastic bag.

What's worse than accidentally biting your tongue? Hitler accidentally biting your tongue.

whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

Soooo... a black man walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a beer.

why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

What did John say to Trojan? Hi Trojan

Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

"We wear pink on Wednesdays"" -Mean Girls, 2004

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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