One day, John ate some food. He quickly realized he had an upsetting feeling in his stomach, so he stopped eating food and used the restroom. Then he drew a picture.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come out with your hands up.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and trampoline? Well, children jump on one to obtain enjoyment, while a pile of dead babies is a sick tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A baby walks into a bar, I find that very unlikely as very few baby's can actually walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A mans opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Thumbs this down

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a doctor whos black A doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I saw a "Baby on Board" bumper sticker on a car TARGET AQUIRED

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens when a rabbit is late for a very important date? Nothing, rabbits have no logical way to keep track of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a flying jew? Smoke.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops