Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

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Duh, its red not ginger, like really really red... Not unlike my eyes, which is a bit of the reason I dye it., I also use colored contact lenses most of the time now.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Yesterday, I was hosting a party, and there were a lot of people crowding around some fruit punch I made all trying to get a glass... Whoops, it appears I forgot the Punch line.

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What did the soldier say when he got shot in the face? Nothing, he died.

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why did the cute baby start crying?? because its feet were eaten by rats.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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What do you call a black man speeding away in a Ferrari. A wealthy man who is late for work.

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Why are Asians such bad drivers? They're not: it is a racist stereotype that is propagated by people who are so insecure that they must put others down to feel good about themselves.

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Why did it take so long for the baby's to paint my wall? I didn't throw them hard enough.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, im epileptic sdblkselhvefbed

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i may not know where you sleep. but, i spiked your drink with sleeping pills

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Tits In The Third Grade? A. Because She Was 21

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down the hill. what black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him.

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What is brown and sticky. Hot chocolate.

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Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

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Get in the car.

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What's funnier than a comedic movie? Genocide

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Wanna hear my impersonation of a homosexual man? I am attracted to men.

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Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

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Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

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Why did Johnny fall down? Because I threw tropical fruit at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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