Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name is Paco, And yours is too.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It can never be certain, as chickens are incapable of communicating.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

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What's a Guy Gotta Do? -Usher

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

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Why did the man die? He got shot!

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never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

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my whole life!

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Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

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who do hannah morgan and bonnie do in their free time? ANTI JOKEZ

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justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

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you know whats funny the letter Q

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? How did you know it was me?

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What Can't You See and Stinks A Fart.

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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