What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

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What happened when the homosexual man came out of the closet? He was congratulated for winning the hide and seek contest.

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

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What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has two penises

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

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roses are violets red is blue i like doughnuts doughnuts are good

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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What did the Pope say to the little boy? Look both ways before crossing the street

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knock knock ... no one was in

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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What did the explorer say to the new species Oh look it says squirtle let's call it squirtle Oh look it say woof let's call it poochyena

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Q: What did the student say to the teacher? A: The answer is four.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops