Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate black people, and mexicans too.

Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

varför skriver jag på svenska jag vet inte

- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

ugh good riddance

what's difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

Whats the difference between an oven and a fridge One is hot and the other is cold

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No Neither have I

which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

your brother so fine that hes skinney

Does your face hurt? Because if it does, you might want to see a doctor.

Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

Who is the fastest man on earth? To get to the other side.

Roses are 3:18 Violets are 3:18 I Just figured out a pattern. And saved peoples lives with the help of Keifer Sutherland.

knock knock how there me ok come in

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to end the lives of two male individuals and paralyze the the third male individual from the hip down.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It can never be certain, as chickens are incapable of communicating.

What do you call a dead prostitute? - You (or friends name) in 10 years

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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