I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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why did the chicken cross the street i dont know thats why im asking you

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What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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What did the Homosexual say to the Southern American? I'm A Homosexual. What did the Southern American say back? I Respect That.

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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Q. you know who is so sad A. you for looking up a site for jokes that aren't even good

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knock knock Who's there Hi, im a memeber of the Church of Latter Day Saints. Id like to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it lost Consciousness.

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if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

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WHat is worse then Fred singing and cumy condom

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Woof woof

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I was reading this book one time..... and my imagination took me away to many lands and times.

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What do fish and dogs have in common they are both animals

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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