Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

no, ten dead babies nailed to ten dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths and thus suffered from survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the blonde bride make it to her own wedding? She had another unplanned circumstance occur and the wedding was postponed until next week.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a flying jew? Smoke.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get when you mix a deer and a pickle? A very odd dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the Jew say the Black man after their meal? "Don't worry, I'll pay the bill."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Unless you yourself put you trough that pain and misery, you have no reason to dislike or flee from who you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

-Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? -No -Niether have they

thumb_up thumb_down +4

raisin boogers

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A politician from the National Country Party keeps interjecting - "I'm a country member, i'm a country member' "yes we remember" says Gough whitlam

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's white and sticky? A glue stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Can you answer one question for me? Yes Thank you

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the black person say to the tall man with nice shoes? Nice shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops