Q: What did the dumb blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios? A: Look! Donut seeds!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man was having problems with his computer, so he called customer service. An Indian man, by the name of Muhammad picked up the phone. This came of no surprise to the man, because Muhammad is the most common name in the world. The man soon found and fixed the problem on his computer and hung up.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

whats worse than school...wait a minute?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why do women why perfume and make up? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Hey Jay, did you here the one about the 3 hookers at the bar? Jay didn't reply because he was deaf

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What happened to the teacher? He taught his students.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the book disappear?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

As Vanilla Ice once said, "If there's a problem ill resolve it."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I have aids

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was the boy kissing up to his parents? He only wanted them to say "I love you" for once.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What happened to the boy after he ate a piece of Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why was the kid mad? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

well, I'm dying of AIDS, so....

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What rhymes with Hitler? Walt Disney.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did Sally get for Christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -36

person: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? person: A Hipster. Me: False.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

We have a 24hr fitness center...it is open from 6 to 11

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's long, hard, and filled with semen? A submarine

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops