Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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What did the cat say to the elephant? Meow.

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Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

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Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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Why do black people enjoy watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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What's black and twelve inches long? A Maglite.

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What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarterback ever (this isn't a joke only a true statement)(this is a remake of a previous joke)

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A Holocaust survivor.

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How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

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What did the Pope say to the little boy? Look both ways before crossing the street

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I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

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Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Whats the differense between a pile of dead babies and a Farrari I actually have a Farrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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