Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Yo mamma's so stupid she sits on the TV and watches the couch. :) By Drew Bolton

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How do you scare a bonde? tell her you want to be her uterus?

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 8 year old in my trunk

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

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Hey Jay, did you here the one about the 3 hookers at the bar? Jay didn't reply because he was deaf

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What's black and chrispy inside? A black guy with bonecancer

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Wheelchair high jump

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Why do black people have dark skin? Lack of melanin in their skin. You learn something new every day.

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What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

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What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

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What's green and red and goes a hundred miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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When a blonde entered a bar, she ordered a something that was a double-entendre. The bartender understood what she was trying to say, gave her her order whatever alcohol she happened to consume, and the blonde woman could not have been more courteous.

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im gonna sue mcdonalds i asked for a hamburger and it was a beef burger -_-

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about the green and the wheels.

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How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

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Why did the house get trashed? Cause the babysitter was a rooster

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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What do you call a white man in the middle of Mexico City? Dave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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