What do an eagle and a gopher have in common? They can both fly, except for the gopher

thumb_up thumb_down -11

From the makers of Call of Duty 1, comes Call of Duty 2.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a black man at the front of a bus? A bus driver

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happened to the starving african kid? He died

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see the CN tower. He was then hit by a fridge dropped by people running tests on the top floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why doe this filthy bitch take big dildos inside himself? Because he is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cause 7 was a petophile and 6 has four children

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Pain Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what's brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock. Who's there? The IRS. You didn't pay your taxes so we have to take you to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My pet rock died.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the man go bald? He had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain. Chuck promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what is sticky and brown?a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops