What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? My wife didn't cheat on me in a pile of dead babies.

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

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What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

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How do you get money out of a Jew? You convince him your cause is worthwhile.

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What did the avocado say to the person? I can't talk

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I pooped my pants

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why did the man leave the restaurant? because he was done with his meal

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What do you call a mexican driving a plane? Well.. nothing because you can't drive plane's but if a Mexican man was able to FLY a plane, he would be a pilot.

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What happens to a warehouse on a full moon? Nothing

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What is worse than Justin Bieber? Well, 1. Deforestation 2. Hurricanes 3. Diabetes 4. Mass Murder ....and probably much more.

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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1912, the titanic sinks, 1913 ww1 starts, 1939, ww2 starts, 1954, the vietnam war starts, 90's, cold war. wow! the 20th century sucked.

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why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

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Roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt.,

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What did the hungry man do? He ate.

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What did the blonde say to the man when he asked her what time it was? 6:34 pm

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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What happened to those who survived the attack on Hiroshima? They were killed in Nagasaki

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What do Japan and Haiti have in common? They are both islands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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