A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

What do you call a Jew and a black mans offspring? A human

Q: What did the student say to the teacher? A: The answer is four.

Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

What do you call a homeless person with one leg? Rob.

24

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

A Cow Walk's Into A Bar And Say's Drink Please The Bartender Is Then Sent To A Mental Hospital For Talking To A Cow.

Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

What did the nazi say to the jew? im gay

Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

Mmmmmmmmbutch

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...