Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

Hope you all drop the soap in prison

Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

Knock Knock Who's there? St. Judes St.Judes who ? St.Judes Research Hospital calling. Give me money, I've got cancer kids dying

A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

Q: What is a man? A: A miserable little pile of secrets.

What happened to those who survived the attack on Hiroshima? They were killed in Nagasaki

Why is a banana yellow? I don't know, ask a scientist, stupid

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four in the seats, twenty six in the ash tray, and thirty in the gas chamber.

Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

A fish and a human had a conversation. The conversation was not interesting because fish can't speak and the human felt awkward.

She said no

what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

What did the suicide bomber say on new years day? Happy new year.

knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

The BCS

Roses are red violets are orange......... Wait did I do that wrong?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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