A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Yd the chicken cross the road? To SAVE THE WORLD

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a dick just for you

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

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Whats black and white, and red all over? A Zebra being slaughtered.

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say yes will u remember me in a year?yes will u remember me in a month? yes will u remember me in a week?yes will u remember me in a minute?yes will u remember me in a second?yes knock knock whos there u said u will remember me u dick

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Why is a Wesley a black man ? He licks tuna

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Why did Jane get pregnant Because she bought a man's semen and put it in her vagina.

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Hey i heard you where cool wait that was opposite day ;)

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What do you call a black man that has sex with women against their will? A rapist. The fact that he is black does not pertain to this situation.

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What do you call a hairless penis, whatever gay name you decided to nickname it

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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Guess what.. chicken butt

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ORGANISM. Yeah, I thought it said "orgasm" too.

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What did one cancer patient say to the other? Nothing, both of them were dead.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art.

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Hello! Echo! My name is Ed!

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Whats worse than jizzing while your on a date? Shitting in you pants while your on a date.

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Justin Bieber is having sex with a girl. He then awakes from this horrible nightmare.

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whos the bitch now!?! you are.

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What did Sally get for Christmas? AIDS

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A fat lady walks into a bar. Your probably wondering what she ordered. She ordered a ham burger.

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all muslims get the fuck out of britain you fucks

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What do you call a hobo that lives a in a box. A hobo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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