What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

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i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

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Hi

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Why did schlomo fall off the swing He lost balance because Muslims threatened to kill him

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How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

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What do you call a black man at the front of a bus? A bus driver

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Why'd the man go to jail? Because he had a piece of cheese.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken had no legs and was therefore incapable of committing to such a challenge.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Why do Christians believe in God? They made him up

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a whore.

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There were once three bears who lived in a cottage in the forest. They left to go to the market one day. While they were gone a blonde girl walked into their cabin. Meanwhile at the market, everyone was freaking out that there were bears there.

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A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Urine.

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Q: A Jew lost a penny, a nickel, and a dime. If he found the nickel and the dime, what didn't he find? A: The Mesiah

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Q: what the apple say to the orange? A: nothing because there fruits and fruits cant talk

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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ginger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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