How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? One, men will screw anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

hi corey

thumb_up thumb_down +9

if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the fat man do when someone told him he was fat? He kept eating, for he was deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy cry? Because he had a frog stapled to his face. Why did the boy cry harder? Because it queefed in the boys mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red,violets are blue, im epileptic sdblkselhvefbed

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a fictional superhero and a black man is an ordinary man of African descent.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Scenario: Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub The first one says, "Hey, can you pass the radio please" And the second one replies, "Sorry, my cousins are made of soap."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's black and blue and hates anal? The twelve year old in my trunk

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the chicken cross the road??? I don't know, that's why I asked you -_-

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho Cheese! Anti Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Sally's Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did one pedophile say to the other at the playground? DIBZ!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What a gay guy get on his IQ test? 69

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why was little bobby sad? he accidentally super-glued Jupiter to his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops