What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock, Who's there? Shmellmype. Shmellmype who? HAHAHAHAHA (read out loud)

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than being a ginger? Being a soulless ginger

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a Justin Beiber concert and a hedgehog? With a hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside, but in a Justin Beiber concert, the pricks are on the inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

25

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Wanna hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Kid: mom what happens when grandpa farts? Mom: well son... Everyone leaves the room

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do we achieve world peace? KILL EVERYBODY. Nobody can fight when they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

thumb_up thumb_down +16

your mums so fat she has to use a matress as a tampon

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Where did the little girl go when the bomb went off? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Does your face hurt? Because if it does, you might want to see a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What kind of a prediction is THAT?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo momma is so fat, that she is not able to wear the clothes she wore the previous year.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a man named Jimmy? Jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the chicken cross the road? It is impossible to tell because we cannot communicate with chickens, but we can assume there was something of interest over there.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops