Your mama is so fat she suffered from diabetes and died of heart failure .

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock knock Who's there? A pedofile, get in the van Ok

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a bear with no fur? A taco.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the most offensive joke you've ever heard? EVENTS: The Black Plague The 2004 Indian Ocean Earthquake and Tsunami The Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre Space Shuttle Columbia The Boston Bombing The Enron Scandal The Great Depression Hurricane Katrina The Iraq War Krakatoa Mt. Vesuvius September 11 2001 The sinking of the Titanic World War I and II PEOPLE: Adolf Hitler Al Capone Attila the Hun Ariel Castro Blackbeard Caligula Charles Manson Ed Gein Elizabeth Bathory Idi Amin Ivan the Terrible Jeffery Dahmer Josef Fritzl Josef Mengele Joseph Stalin Kim Il-sung The Ku Klux Klan Nero Osama bin Laden Pol Pot Saddam Hussein Mao Zedong The Taliban Torquemada Vlad the Impaler DISEASES: AIDS Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis Bubonic Plague Cholera Chronic Diarrhea Cystic Fibrosis Dysentery Ebola Virus Gonorrhea Herpes Leprosy Mad Cow Malaria Necrotizing Fasciitis Polio Rabies Scurvy Swine Flu Smallpox MISCELLANEOUS: Alcoholism Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders Arson Bestiality Cannibalism Capital punishment Castration Child abuse Colonoscopies Coprophilia/phagia Drug abuse/addiction Electric torture The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned Genocide Human sacrifice Identity theft Losing one's favorite childhood toy Mustard gas Necrophilia Neo-Nazism One's grandmother dying Pedophilia Racism Rape Religious intolerance Stillborn babies Suicide Walking on broken glass Working on weekends

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Want to hear a joke? ... Oh dear, I can't think of any. Golly, this is embarrassing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the mother cross the road? To find her dead baby that was hit the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What has four legs and one arm? An attack dog in a daycare.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the rapist say to the woman? "If you tell anyone I'll kill you!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A creationist, an evolutionist, and Neanderthal Man walk into a bar. They order two beers and a glass of red wine. The bartender asks: "Will that be all?". The evolutionist says "Yes"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock. Who's there? A Pokemon pencil!!! A Pokemon pencil who? I just found a Pokemon pencil next to my computer when I was playing pokemon!!! LMFAO!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

give me thumbs up or i'll rape u to death

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A dermatologist walks into a strip club. He tells the stripper she has hives on her back and that she needs to go to a clinic, then gets up from his lap dance and reports her to management.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: what do you call a drunk blond? A: a cab

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is worse than finding a worm in ur apple Idk I am asking u

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call an Arab on an airplane? A passenger.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the young black boy kicked out of his classroom? Because the manner of his actions were inexcusable.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

i have yougurt with tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your Momma is so old, she started exercising more and eating healthier to increase the chance of her living long enough to enjoy your own children's lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops