Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

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What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

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Give me thumbs up!

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Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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knock knock Who's there Hi, im a memeber of the Church of Latter Day Saints. Id like to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ

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Roses are Black Violets are Black I am color blind.

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whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

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What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

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Your momma's so dumb, she had to spend an extra hour studying for her mathematics test.

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Roses are red Violets are blue your mum is fat and so are you

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? a pilot you racist

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Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms..

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

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What happens when batman jumps off the top of a building? His fake wings fails and he dies upon impact of the ground.

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So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

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knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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Girls got to Jupiter to get more stupider. Boys go to Mars to build a sophisticated civilization.

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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