What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

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Why do black people have a bad reputation? Because they do bad things.

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have you seen Britney Spears lately? no. i wouldn't expect you to since she is a pop sensation and you are just a regular person trying to find your way in this world

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

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How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

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Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

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A black guy is lying on the floor dead with a knife next to him, what killed him? Multiple bullets sprayed from an uzi being held by a rival gang member....

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What advice did the cat give to the man? Nothing because it's a cat.

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roses are red but violets are definately violet what retard made this rhyme

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A black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving Their designated driver who they carefully selected as someone they thought had enough self-control to not drink and could get both of them home safely

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

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I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

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Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

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hi

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back distinctly better at the Trumpet.

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yo momma's so fat she sat on a tiny chair and relaxed.

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And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

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My mate mated with my mate's mate. mated of course meaning fucked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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