Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

What swims in the ocean? Fish

what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

Why didnt Santa give the little Girl her Pony? Santas not real.

What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

What is the difference between a black guy and a road? One you put tar on and the other one is a road

this is an anti joke THIS IS NOT A JOKE O:

Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

Were did Suzie go after the bombing? A: everywere

I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

Q:What did the furry say to the other? A: Probably nothing, cant be easy speaking with a dick in your mouth...

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Their, they're, there You're, your

"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

Kenneth kaniff takes his hat off then he meets cosmic panda with kevin the zebra because chuck norris ate a chili pepper.

What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

a 5 year old rapes a pedophile

Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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