A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. They both promptly drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is it called when a Native American Indian man smacks a woman in the face for cheating on him? In police code it's called a "273D Domestic violence - Felony" most likely involving an insecure man with control problems simply adding to the stereotype that Native American's are drunk, abusive and domestically violent people.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the plane crash and everybody die on board? The plane crashed because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

thumb_up thumb_down +29

water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

You Know Wats Funny? Jokes....

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Did you know Hellen Keller had a swing set? No? Well neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Two cats were in a bathtub. They both, however, were uneasy the whole time, as it is common sense to know that cats do not like being in water.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A Jew and a Nazi walk into a bar... 1 year later they are married with a baby on the way

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops