Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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K.

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Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

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Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

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trumpy trumpy trump

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Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

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2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

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A duck walks into a bar.... Animal control is swiftly called and the duck is relocated to a nearby park.

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Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other: "Maybe we should rethink our ways of life and realize why animals are on this planet"

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learn the ropes?

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The 17 year old buy called his computers support number to remove a virus from his old computer, so he can gift the computer to his little cousin for his birthday. But before giving the computer to his cousin he downloaded over 120 hours of adult film onto it.

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

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"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

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i cant think of one.

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

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What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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