What do you call a blind fish? Amblyopsidae.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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Q: What's up? A: Definitely not a plane, due to an unfortunate hijacking and terror bombing shortly after departure. There were no survivors.

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Explain the term 'Standard of Living'? Not having sex with diseased and obese women.

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

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Why did the Mexican man jump to the floor? He had a stroke.

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What's the worst part about being drunk? Your child.

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? The Batmobile only seats one, you'll have to take the bike Boy Wonder.

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Q: why do irish people like swimming A: because it's fun

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hipsters

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I farted!!!!! t'was smelly??????? I LIKE CRABS! #tomato problems

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What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Therefore no one knew why his name was Fuzzy Wuzzy.

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS

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What kind of jokes to dairy farmers tell? Corny jokes.

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Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs. It doesn't matter what you call him he still won't come.

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Why did the woman fall off the skateboard? She hit a rock.

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what did the horse say after the man told him to have a good day? nothing, horses dont talk.(:

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Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops