What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

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How do you survive the plague? you dont.

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

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A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

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Knock Knock Whos There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

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Three monkeys are sitting in a tree. Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? -He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -Peer pressure.

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What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Blonds are cute and so are u.

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Michael Jackson walks into a daycare center.

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Why was Why added to why? Because WHy not.

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A dislexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to enjoy the breasts that he has stumbled upon.p

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Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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