James: They say attitudes are contagious. Bill: How do you know? James: My whole family caught it and they will all die within 2 weeks.

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Why did the boy lose his watch? Who cares? It was a shitty-ass watch.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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Why do gay people go to the beach on memorial? idk im not gay

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

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A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

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Your momma is so white, when she goes out in the sun it is necessary for her to use a lotion with an SPF greater than 30 because she burns easily and is also afraid of skin cancer.

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yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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my friend is gay hes gay

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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When u r using ur computer and then all the sudden it says reload and something about an error blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .. ......blah blah blah. Blah blah. Your response: "AWWWWW BITCH ASS FUCK U"......*LEAVES ROOM*..... (HOUR LATER)*COMES BACK IN THE ROOM* "Oh hey, Meet my bff she is from your version of Hell her name is , Vir-is (virus) anyways Vir-is wanted to have sex with u and probably give u a USB Transmitted Disease A.K.A. virus then wwhile u r rebooting Vir-is and I is gonna kill u Toodles

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What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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What's the difference between a murcielago and a dead baby ? I don't have a dead baby in my garage. 8-)

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I would rather live in a world a chicken's motives would not be questioned.

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how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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Q. What do you call 2 black men on a bike? A. Organised Crime

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Now Showing: EVIL SLOTHS II "The worst death is a slow death."

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What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

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What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

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poop is very very yummy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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