Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a black man in an envelope? A tiny black man

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the police do when they saw an arab running towards a building? Watched him run by because he was probably late for something

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than finding a fly in your drink? Gonorrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A black man walks into an abbatoir.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the jew pick up the unicorn lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's heavy, black, and when hanging by a rope from a tree, makes white people happy? A tire, in any white football player's backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whis a racist rapist etter than a non-racist rapist? less women getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than being a ginger? Being a soulless ginger

thumb_up thumb_down +16

McDonald's... Giving people with swag jobs since 1942.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call you're mum? Depends who's reading it or just mum

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Does your face hurt? Because if it does, you might want to see a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened after Peter broke his toe? He went into cardiac arrest and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo momma is so fat, that she is not able to wear the clothes she wore the previous year.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Youve got to spell the name right you dead dylan fuck

thumb_up thumb_down +14

- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops