knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

A dolphin walks into a bar. Dolphins do not have legs therefore this is physically impossible.

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side . Unfortunately , there was a car accident and shrapnel from the explosion [caused by gas on fire] cut his head off causing the old woman to faint , and later die a horrible death .

Guy 1: I had a Energy Drink the other day, I crashed. Guy 2: Really? That must of sucked. Guy 1: Yeah, the family in the other car died.

What's black and blue and red all over? A baby right after I kill it

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

Q: What's Black and White and Red All Over? A: This is a logical fallacy. If something is "Red All Over," it is implied that no other color can be showing. Thus, whatever innate Black and/or Whiteness was formerly attributed to said object will now have been inherently obfuscated by its Redness.

Why did the man fall of the building? Someone shot both of his kneecaps.

Your mama's so fat that she killed herself because she was so depressed about her weight.

What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? F*ck

Why was the guy sad? His son killed himself after being constantly bullied for 6 years.

why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The answer really isn't that important.

The anti joke that repeats itself :(

What is brown and sticky? A stick

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

What's brown and sticky? Shit

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? The Farmer immediately noticed the oncoming car and flagged it down so the driver would stop and he could grab his chicken and carry it safely back to the coop

Why did the beaver cross the road? To meet Justin Bieber!

What do you call a white guy surrounded by black guys? -Steve Nash

Why did the Asian woman crash her car? She couldn't see through the slits she called eyes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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