What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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Why couldn't the boy sing? The boy could sing, but the thick layer of duct tape prevented him from doing so.

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what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

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what red black and white al over? a t.v I was kidding about the red part

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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Q: How did the black man die? A: He got hit by a car, and we all know that this is painful.

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why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

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What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

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Knock Knock ... guess nobody's home.

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what happened to the black guy after he turned off the light? he probably wanted to save energy, so he moved to a different room with natural sunlight as a light resource.

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what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

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.ellipsis { text-overflow: ellipsis; /* Required for text-overflow to do anything */ white-space: nowrap; overflow: hidden; }

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What is worse than finding an Apple in your Worm? Watching your dog jumping of a cliff

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

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Pinus Testicles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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