What do you do with a pickle jar full of semen? Use it for gel, because it took so long to collect it all, and you're frugal person who believes in recycling.

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What do you call this? A sentence in English.

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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whats worse than hitler? Anti-Jokes By darragh hamilton

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2 out of 4 questions. How do you get an elephant in a fridge? Open it, take the girrafe out, put the elephant in, and close it.

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you had me at "hello", no need to add "you're under arrest"

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

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Dogs

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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What do you call a fat man in a tiny pipe? Stuck.

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Once upon the time.... It was 12 o´clock

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How do you scare Chris Ferguson? No one knows, he always has a pokerface on.

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Q: Why can't white people dunk? A: because they can't jump high enough

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Why did the Dentist recommend Oral B? He had been paid by the company and thus legally bound to do so.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun

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a man and a woman walk into a alley. They get mugged the man fights back out of pride and then gets stabbed the woman escapes and then goes to the police the man is then found two days later. *gasp* what a weird dream.

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So, a giraffe walks into a bar and orders six martinis and shame on for wanting a punch line this giraffe needs help.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call it, he isn't coming. Posted By: Lram

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

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what came first the chicken or the chips

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What does Harry Potter love? Magic

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how do you confuse a blonde? shes already confused Leave.Her.Alone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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