Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding! Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

why do woman travel in packs? because men don't travel like the sisterhood in the traveling pants

Mitt Romney penis

How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

whats green and has wings ? a flying patch of astro turf

Your mama is so stupid that she thought Brendan Fraser was a good actor.

Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? He wasn't, and in fact was entirely unaware that said road existed given the fact that he was deceased; and therefore lacked any sensory organs and motor functions associated with crossing roads.

What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

roses are red violets are blue i have alzheimers roses are red

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

What was the first thing the mother did when her baby was born? Weep. The baby was a was a stillborn.

A baby walks into a bar, I find that very unlikely as very few baby's can actually walk.

What did the kind hearted wolf do when he saw the small, helpless, fluffy bunny? He ate it.

What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

Why did the fat lady poop on my knee? Because i'm thirsty.

How do you make a baby float? 1 can root bear 2 scoop baby

A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

What did the rat say to the snake when it ate it. Nothing for the rat is a rat and there for can not communicate through talk to the snake nor could it survive as the snake's digestive system disintegrated it in a matter of minutes.

Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

A handicapp walks into a bar

Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

Meh, I dont want it anymore! You can have it.

what do you do to get a guy to vomit?? kick him in the balls!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...