Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding! Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is 9 + 10? 21

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a muffin and a scone? One's a muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What was the first thing the mother did when her baby was born? Weep. The baby was a was a stillborn.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A baby walks into a bar, I find that very unlikely as very few baby's can actually walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red violets are blue i have alzheimers roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? He wasn't, and in fact was entirely unaware that said road existed given the fact that he was deceased; and therefore lacked any sensory organs and motor functions associated with crossing roads.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the rat say to the snake when it ate it. Nothing for the rat is a rat and there for can not communicate through talk to the snake nor could it survive as the snake's digestive system disintegrated it in a matter of minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Meh, I dont want it anymore! You can have it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do you do to get a guy to vomit?? kick him in the balls!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do Japan and Haiti have in common? They are both islands.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did one hipster say to the other hipster? I'm not a hipster.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A handicapp walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the kind hearted wolf do when he saw the small, helpless, fluffy bunny? He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the fat lady poop on my knee? Because i'm thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a baby float? 1 can root bear 2 scoop baby

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops