A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

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A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

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What smells like peanut butter but looks like a penis? A penis, I lied about the peanut butter.

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A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

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Whats the difference between a raisin and a old lady? One is alive, i think.

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Straight men can be bronies.

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What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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what happened to the black guy after he turned off the light? he probably wanted to save energy, so he moved to a different room with natural sunlight as a light resource.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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Nock Nock It's open.

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Why is Kony hated by the kid with ADHD? Hey look a kid being raped while watching his family getting killed.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did a second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did a third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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How do white people screw in light bulbs? They read a manual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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