- Anti Joke

Why did the little boy drown? He was stapled to a whale.

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna go bike riding?

lets have sex, ok, but itll have to be anal, cuz im a guy xoxox danni

Q.what does the kid scream when he see's a creepy man in a big van pull up? A. ICE CREAM!

A doctor is delivering a baby on April fool's day. He says, "Congradulations, it's a boy." He then says,"April fools! Your child was stillborn."

How is pinocchio's nose like a penis? They're nothing alike.

What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

Kevin was very nervous going into his job interview. So he pretended he was a salad and ate himself.

I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

Woha! Girl! Its not about the father figure thing, I always saw you as my sister, and well, my really hot little sister but sister still so you know... All ill thoughts where purged before they formed, anyway the point is I am you know... KINDA into a marriage and... Ugh, I feel really really sad, its not you, I just get extremely emotional on these pills, I told Alice to not add Zopiclone into the mix, but I wont break her fingers for wanting to take care of me, its just that Zopiclone makes me so damn sad... Ugh... On the bright side, my face looks pretty good actually, I always needed a scar or two there for manliness, I mean lets be honest, a babyface does not exactly inspire respect if you get my deal, so if you worry about seeing a burn victim or worse, at least my face wont look that way. Details aside, I have pretty much know you feel something extra for me for... A year maybe? I apreciate you sharing that with me, and id be lying if I said you arent the sweetest girl I know, I am glad my wife is not the jealous type when I say this... ...I always wanted to say that you have the face of an angel and the body of a Godess, and am ashamed to say I never thought you would turn out that sweet, kind and smart considering girls as hot as you (well you are a woman now) do not statistically tend to end up as... What profession did you have again? Like six doctor degrees? Was it bioscience or something? It does not matter, sister, daughter potential fuck (sorry, as you said, I say whats on my mind but that was a joke I could not nah... Nope you are my baby sister as far as my thoughts go hope thats fine) Uh, wow this is hard saying, but speaking about sex, my uh, manhood is operational, considering Alice does not know how to hug me without sinking my face into her huge tits (I told her I am sorry, but she wont stop laughing so I guess its okay) Cough, yeah my shadows are really quick about it, you should get the cash in an hour or less, I always keep a few around you and your family, and while they do spy on you (should have told you) its just for your security, believe me, these guys are pros, I mean they say I trained them, but I learned as much from them as them from me, if not more. Uh, honestly I hope you got no, you know, dreams about you and me, I mean I love you but, I have for years felt pretty bad about considering you my sister and still my mind (mostly in dreams) going "well maybe if you keep in mind you are not related" and then again going "NO I CANT THINK LIKE THAT!" To you know... Among other things cheat on my wife... Its not cheating if you ask for permission... She knows who she got married to. Why am I saying this? Sorry, I wont delete it all though, its you after all, Alice is worried about me posting this online, it hurts to laugh, but she apparently does not know me, id say this on a speaker, publically. Eliza this is "Alice", you know me from the same meeting as Neo-Nero, I was kinda going out with him (Neo) Back then, people thought I too died, but it was to keep me safe, just want to add that we all really miss you, and that Nero is more worried about what he is making me type than me, sorry about adding zopiclone into his pills, I mean I do not care if he is used to pain! He was crying out in pain during his sleep for fucks sake!

How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

Why did Frank go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the ebeyjeebes.

What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

wood cant chuck wood

What did one hostage say to the other hostage? Hrmfhrmfphmfr

Let's not pick mushrooms in heaven.

Roxanne's hat looks like a condom

What did little Jimmy say when he saw a group of dancing blue penguins dressed as cannibal clowns with saucers on their head ? "What the f*ck"

Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

Whats the easiest way to kill a blonde? Shoot her

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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