text this number 2066191208 saying i wanna rape you

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because seven, eight, nine.

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roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

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Why did the boy have sex with his grandpa? His grandpa is a nice guy and it was his birthday.

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how many blonds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, because she is an intelligent and capable woman

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Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

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A redhead walks into a hairdressing salon and asks to have her hair dyed black due to being a subject of bullying and social rudeness.

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why did the frog cry? Because he didn't get a message

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Knock knock Who's there The police "people began to jump out the back window"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Well why don't you open the door and find out!

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Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

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why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

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What's worse than being punched in the face? Being lynched.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: Boobees

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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Christopher Reeve walks into a room.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

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Whats yellow pink and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? Oh were you expecting an answer here, if i knew the answer i wouldn't have asked a question.

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Why do Christians believe in God? They made him up

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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