Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

Your momma's so fat she died five years ago.

This one time at band camp....

What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

I tell an anti joke!.

A Jew walks into a bar The bar owner looks at a gang of punks in the back and shouts "YOU! GET OUT!" The Jew leaves the bar.

If a man has a gun, but no arms or legs, is he armed?

I share two rooms with my mother.

What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

ecks! why zee?

What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

Did you hear about the couple that met in a revolving door? They died.

pickle sniffer

Q. What is a brown cow called? A. A cow.

How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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