Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

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What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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One white male lives in a city with all blacks. He puts up with gang violence nearly every day.

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Poop

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What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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