what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

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An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Poop

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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