What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

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What's tan, red, black and brown? Your face. Two days later... In the mausoleum. "Your face"

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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An elephant walks into a bar..what the hell

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What did the prisoner say to the man who posted his bail? Thank you.

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Q: When is the best date to walk out your door in New York? A: 9/11

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People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

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What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

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You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

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So, I was eating out this girl Until I tasted something like horse semen. So I looked up at her and said; " Ah grandma, so that's how you died ! ".

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What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

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Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

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What do you call an amazing person Good

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

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Whats brown,looks like a.dike,and is a whore. Marcella

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Wanna hear a great joke? (any answer) Your dad's choice of condom.

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What I have learned about the Japanese studying video games and anime (read below for more, better studies): Student at school: USING PENN TO TYPU! USING PEN TO TYPU! Teacher: No Susaki San! You must onry yell the name of attakus! You suspension get! Student: JOSH! I CHARRENGE YOU TO MORTAR KOMBAT! Teacher: KAAAAAAAAMEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEE! Student: FINAL FRAAAAAAASH! Student and teacher: Locked into energy wave combat for several hours. Teacher: Puh... Lets rather settle this with a round of Shaolin Soccer... Student: VICTOLY! Me: Well I saw a disturbing lot of Japanese people cosplay dressed as zangief... Skinny guys with fake chesthair and red hair that kept posing with their (nonexistent) muscles and yelling RED CYCRONE! Wanting me to take pictures of them... And Japanese lolitas, and blonde girls called Ganguro... Weirdest trip ever... They also kept Looking at Emanuel my (black) friend, and assumed he was my servant... Conclusion: My real trip to Japan was not so different from my above example as one might think...

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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Your mom.

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What did the guy and girl do at the wedding? Nothing, The guy is gay

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Why did the kid punch the other kid. Because he was black.

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How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops