A Irishman walks into a bar... he suffers severe head injuries.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

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Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

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What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

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Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. My mom went to the doctor and found out she has cancer, so when she told me, I was eccentric. That tree is green.

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What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

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Lebron James in the 4th quarter.

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Q: What happened to the 16 year old pregnant black woman? A: She gave birth to a baby in 9 months.

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Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

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Why is god mean? Cause he doesn't like you.

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An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

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Gary: How many sides does a triangle have? Juan: 2? Gary: Nope, it's 3, nice try

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Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

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Knock Knock. Who's there? God. God Who? ::Apocalypse follows::

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I need a good anti joke....

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Why did the man wear a blue shirt? He didn't. He wore a green one.

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watashi no namae wa ramune desu

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Wanna here a joke? Canadians.

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Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

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why did the frog cross the road it was stapled to a chicken

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why did the dog jump into the pool? because the cat was chasing him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops