Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

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How many carrots can you fit in a truck Depends who's driving

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Is this the krusty krab? No, this is Patrick

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are green I'm bipolar

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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a man walks into a prostitute.

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- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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Q:What did grandma get for christmas? A:a coffen

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Roses are gray. Violets are gray. I am a dog.

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A politician from the National Country Party keeps interjecting - "I'm a country member, i'm a country member' "yes we remember" says Gough whitlam

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Nazis did't burn the pizza

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

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This is an anti-joke.

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Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

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How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

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Why did the boy want to commit suicide? Because he didn't want to die.

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What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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A boy found a nickel on the street. So he went to the ice cream shop and bought a gumball with the nickel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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