I was walking through the woods the other day when I heard a rustle in the bushes... So I went over and said, "Russell, What are you doing in the bushes?"

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The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He quickly works on treating the injuries he had received from hitting his head against the bar when he had walked into it.

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No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

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What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

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Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange. Orange who? The orange that can talk and knock on doors.

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Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

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Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

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A black man went on the bus and sat down next to a white man. The white man looked up from his magazine and stared at the black man. They then chit-chatted and enjoyed their trip.

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What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

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whats long and green? weed

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How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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Why is Kony hated by the kid with ADHD? Hey look a kid being raped while watching his family getting killed.

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knock knock Labrinth come in

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Why did the plane crash and everybody die on board? The plane crashed because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Whats worse than 3 black guys. 4 black guys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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