What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

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What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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One white male lives in a city with all blacks. He puts up with gang violence nearly every day.

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

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9/11

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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