What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

a man died

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

hi

2 women were sitting quietly.

Women's rights.

What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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