Once upon a time, your face.

Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

whats worse that 3 black guys dieing in a train accident .... one was ur brother the other was gay

Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

I'm so hungry I could eat food

What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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