Q: Why can't Eric drive a car? A: Because Eric is a rock

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Wanna here a joke? Canadians.

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What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana. Go away.

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Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

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If it hadn't been for Cotton Eyed Joe My wife and kids would still be alive.

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What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

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Why didn't Helen Keller drive? With all that time she spent learning how to read and write despite being blind and deaf, authoring numerous books, and being a prolific political activist; she simply did not have the substantial time to acquire a driver's license.

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"Did you eat your veggies?" asked the shark, sarcastically.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... he didn't

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Just kidding! Redheads arn't real.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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A Frenchman stays and fights

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Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Older.

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut? A Heart Attack.

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Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

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who is the wildest wild one? matt daly

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YO MAMMA IS SO STUPID, she was recently diagnosed with severe mental retardation and will have to be cared for 24/7

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What do you get when you cross a fan with a child? A mess that you now have to clean up.

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Q: Why did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops