Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Three men of different race and religion are on a plane; they enjoy their flight, and two of them have a good meal with no pork. Thirty years later, two of the men share the same flight, but failed to even recognize each other on the first.

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Womans profesional lacrosse

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IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

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Stranger: Greetings. House-owner: No, you were supposed to say, "Knock, Knock". Stranger: Fine. Knock, knock... House-owner: Nobody's home. Stranger: These quirks are really getting on my nerve. Silly antics only serve to frustrate me. Oh, the irony!

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Knock Knock!! Who's There? No one, your being ding dong ditched!

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Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

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When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

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Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

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What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

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whose better then Sarah, Georgia and ellie NO ONE!!!!

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What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

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so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

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It's long!

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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