A plane full of atheists, with one Christian, crashes into a field over Ohio. Everybody but the Christian dies upon impact. Amazed, a news reporter on the scene of the crash, asks the man, "How did you suvive this tragic event?" "I had a parachute." Responds the man.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

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I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

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What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

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A kid goes to Band Camp and comes back better at the Trumpet.

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Have you ever heard the story of Mikey Braford? Every morning when he was little, his father would fill a gym sock with nickels and beat him with it. Mikey has severe attachment disorder and frequent suicidal thoughts.

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No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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A black guy walks into a dilapidated house and purchases large amounts of narcotics. Racism isn't funny.

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Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

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How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

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Your mother is so old that she is dead.

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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if I was a girl I would be touching my self everywhere if I was a girl as a boy I would make a diffrence in poltics but thats not gonna happen.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A thief. What do u call a black man in school? Janitor. What do you call a black man in court? Guilty

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Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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Why was the man cold? Because he was dead.

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what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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